Impostor syndrome

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The impostor syndrome is widespread. I know it is especially the case in academia. Many people suffer from it. They learn to live with it. I think it is not so easy to fight, it is a bit like that feeling of not "being good enough": it is a mental pattern that is very hard to get rid of. Actually, resisting it makes it stronger.

In any case, I found myself doing more and more the things that I like, the way I like them, and this includes things that I am not asked to do (like writing a blog, or doing coaching sessions for the first year students, or trying to improve how we deal with diversity at the Faculty). 

Yes, I am not "supposed" to be doing all these things. Nobody has asked for them. But I want to do them, I care for them, so I have the drive. This means that I am being myself: doing what I want, the way I want it. I do not feel like an impostor. I only feel like an impostor when I am trying to force myself to fit some pre-established mold or fixed idea. I think I am starting to experience what people call "being genuine": it is more than just being honest, it involves self-understanding of one's interests and mental barriers. It is much more about pleasing oneself than pleasing others.




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